Why Do We Race? What The "Erotic Equation" Can Tell Us About Passion and Obstacles

Can the psychology of eroticism help us understand the motivations of passion, and the reason we voluntarily take on big challenges?

Why do we voluntarily choose to do difficult things? Setting obstacles before us, often just beyond the reach of what feels possible, satisfied only when it is monstrous enough to guarantee a deep, dark soak in the cauldrons of pain? Is it for thrill? Accomplishment? A unique bond among the tribe? Or does it have deeper biological roots?

The other day, I found myself “flirting” with a new endurance race, hovering my finger over the registration button on their web site. Oooohhh, I thought…this feels dangerous. Oh, you little devil of a race! We can’t be doing this, can we? Look at how tempting these photos are…I think this race wants me to join! No, no, I can’t, this would be crazy. There are a thousand reasons why I shouldn’t….but it feels soooo right!

I entered the race (naturally) and it instantly felt naughty. I smiled to myself all day with my new little secret, whispering to fellow runners that “I can’t believe I’m doing this”. Yeah, this is nothing short of a love affair.

Do you share this internal dialogue? Like sizing up a dance partner, and at its core, quite erotic. That got me wondering – is the pursuit of our passion for endurance sports rooted in erotic desire?

The “Erotic Equation”

It turns out this analogy may not be far off. Dr. Jack Morin, a renowned psychotherapist and sex specialist, found in his research that, in the creation of excitement and desire, the obstacle plays a key role. He condensed his findings into what he calls the “Erotic Equation”:

Attraction + Obstacle = Desire

In hundreds of interviews about sex with subjects, both gay and straight, Dr. Morin saw a similar paradoxical pattern. It is when an attraction is out of reach that it produces the most desire and motivation. Flirting with someone at an airport, for example, has just the recipe for heightened desire, due to the inevitable obstacle of your upcoming flights to different geographic locations. Because the obstacle is high, the desire is heightened.

Key to this formula is to find an obstacle that (1) matches your attraction, and (2) feels “dangerous” and out of reach, yet contained enough to not risk stability in your overall life. One doesn’t have to stretch to see how this could apply to endurance racing, and why as our sports grow in popularity, the race options become more varied and extreme (ie, “the 200-miler is the new marathon”). Most endurance races are at distances that require crew and volunteers, so by definition, is an obstacle beyond what one can do on their own. Perhaps this is why it is also so fun to be on said crew or aid station, and witness it first hand. That would also make our Race Director the equivalent of someone else’s Dominatrix. (ha, ha)

[me and 8,000 of my closest friends take on the 139km w/4500m of climbing at the Maratona dles Dolomites last weekend]

The “Erotic Equation” also helps me understand another conundrum that I find in the starting corrals of endurance races. I look around and see hundreds of motivated people, successful in life, love, family, art, sport, their profession, and quite likely, nearly anything to which they apply their drive and passion. But instead of embracing the well-earned rewards of chilling out and sleeping in, we’re up at 5am, ready to physically destroy ourselves in the name of adventure. Why? Because it’s what we do, and it’s not enough to just watch…we have to tackle that obstacle ourselves.

Then we finish, and immediately sign up for another one that is even bigger and crazier. C’mon…you know you want it! ;-)

Anyway, some thoughts to ponder on your next long ride/run. Hope y’all are enjoying the summer.

-Scott